There are two kinds of people in this world: people who hate Microsoft and no others … so, actually, there are one kind of people in this world. The company has dreams of Windows 10 being installed on 1 billion devices worldwide, and though that sounds kind of like a made-up child’s goal, it’s actually a real possibility, as more and more users are upgrading to get the bad taste of Windows 8 out of their mouths.
This universal acceptance of Windows 10 is especially bizarre since it seems like people are forgetting all the shady shit Microsoft has already pulled in their short history of updates. Well, I haven’t forgotten, and I’m a little amazed to find that not too many people are talking about it. There’s a huge list of things Windows 10 tried to trick you into and a slightly shorter list of shit they’re still getting away with. For instance …
#4. They’re Making You Foot The Bill For Their Server Space
Have you ever run into a film like American Ultra, one you were kind of interested in but not quite enough to buy a ticket — and also, morals aren’t really an issue with you? If so, you’re probably familiar with torrenting. The way torrenting works is by connecting your computer to anyone running the software and downloading a file piece by piece directly from their computers, essentially treating them like teeny, tiny servers connected to other teeny, tiny servers. Microsoft saw that idea and thought to themselves, “Let’s do that, but with our updates. And we’ll make it a default feature!” Then they laughed maniacally as lightning struck outside Microsoft HQ.
Frederic Bisson/Wiki Commons
“We’ll also get rid of Solitaire! MUAH HA HA HA!”
They’re calling this fuckery “Windows Update Delivery Optimization,” or WUDO. I initially figured this couldn’t be a real thing. No company would be that fucking bold to think their users would be cool with their computer connecting to random, unknown sources — especially since that’s one of the first things they teach you when you get your first computer: DON’T FUCKING CONNECT TO COMPUTERS YOU DON’T COMPLETELY TRUST, DUMBASS! So I made my way over to WUDO.org, which turned out to be a German site for the World Unimotorcycle Dragrace Organisation (sic). So don’t bother going to that site unless you want to see the raddest shit you’ve ever seen!
This is like 100 percent the opposite of Windows 10.
The real WUDO site is much more disappointing after seeing that, but I still found myself muttering, “What the fuck?” a whole lot more on Microsoft’s site. It’s bad enough that they thought we would ever be cool with footing the Internet bill to distribute their updates for them, but it was an option that was turned on by default. In a stupid decision (that, to be fair, Microsoft has since remedied), Windows 10 installed itself with the option to “get and send updates to PCs on my local network and PCs on the Internet.”